Yourself?

Hmm.. a new hope?

I don't really know what's wrong with me, just feeling tired and all. This very familiar feeling of the past, like a kind of second life, coming back all over me again.

A part of me that I've denied for very long has returned. And in it's return, it brings both pain and pleasure, happiness and a certain discomfort.

I read a book the other day that just touched me at a very personal level. It was nothing more than "Ying De Tian Kong". This book published by RI with chinese essays by the boys. They wrote about pain, about loss, about finding a place in the world, about the beauty of their school and their surroundings. They spoke to me of common memories, of shared experiences, of uncertanties and dreams...

And from reading those words, I'm transported again, into the past, into dreamy days of school, soccer filled recesses, activities, homework, running around making friends, staying late to practice, all those activities that I have no time for.

I wonder if we live to put ourselves into our books. I wish I did write more. I wish I did put more of myself into records, joined competitions and left a mark. All that science I did was not something new. I just walked in the huge shoes of giants for a while.

But Jugs, Jugs jugs and jugs, language, stories, dreams, the arts. Those are what differentiates a person from a machine. Those are footsteps that we leave, footsteps that we can look back on and contemplate. Those are footsteps that we may see, a little version of us, run along and explore.

Geri asked me why don't I have very close friends and keep in contact with them. I didn't understand her at first, but then after a while, I understood that she has very different friendships from mine. Other people have friends that they call night after night, and update them with details of their lives. I never really did that because I didn't like the phone. Because I was too busy chasing science, reading up, filling up my mind, reflecting on my days. I always thought that the difference between others and me was that I did a deeper reflection of the experiences i did.

Ok, I'm going to watch tv now... really exciting!

posted by Downhere. @ 9:51 pm 0 comments

Morality on the Board.

There are certain days when you just realize what you've realized before.
Joanna's right about the filth in humanity, like this overflowing gutter. Still, the problem as always been the length of man's life.

I take her argument. 35, 000 MORE jobs would be created with the casino. 50, 000 MORE people will now have gambling problems. Is it a case of myopic thinking? Surely so! But what can the government do? It can't seem like it's doing nothing.

Sometimes there's also filth in taking action.

When the go board is settled, and points of agreement reached, one should not add more clutter to the board that has to be responded to. That is fruitless action. Filth.

May I ever keep my moves big, thoughtful, and fair.

posted by Downhere. @ 11:59 pm 0 comments

Resigned.

There are always whisperings behind my back.

Oh, I am sick of those whisperings.

What can men do? What can I do?

Each moment spent quelling these whisperings of idle persons,

Are valuable moments lost doing more important things.

Things that create value, that bring benefit to the world.

One day I'll die, and that would be the end of my toil.

While I live, let each moment be fruitful.

posted by Downhere. @ 11:55 pm 0 comments