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Sunday, July 11, 2004

I've got a new convection oven! Cooking and Driving!

After exhausting all the Good Eats episodes I can muster from the internet, I've finally gotten off my ass and created my first successful Good Eat. BTW, Good Eats is this cooking show merging science and the art of cooking. And unlike most other cooking shows, it's pretty funny, and the chef is an everyman, not some super chef. He has some mad flipping skills tho, which he's proud to show off as well. It's a really good cooking programme. A nerd's cooking program.

Anyway, the eat of the day is finally, a decent looking dessert. Cheesecake to be exact. I've calculated that a slice of cheesecake is approximately 30% fat. The one I just made, together with the help of my whole family, is simply beautiful. I'd post pictures if I had a digicam, but for now, I'm too cheapskate to use a film camera for that.

6 Hrs is all it takes before I can have REALLY REALLY good eats.

Besides Eating, I've also been driving. Getting the hang of it pretty quick i should say, if it all goes well, and I collect 1 chop per lesson, I should be done in a month and a week or so. Then yay! Call me if you want me to pick you up anywhere. I'll rig up a meter to bill you.

Went on the roads on my 3rd lesson. Didn't kill anyone, tho I was a little disoriented driving. Can't multitask so many things at the same time. Suppose most of the actions I think about will become second nature soon enough.

Feelings wise, I'm emotionally quite bad. Uh this disruption thing is upsetting cos so many people I like have disrupted and are going to study medicine next year, and they're all so concerned and hope that I disrupt. Even my chief clerk supports me, my uncles support me. I can't just give up like that. But as the time draws closer and closer to the start of term, and I haven't resolved all these issues yet, I don't know what the story's going to be in the end. If my officers are all so helpful and supportive, should I really feel all that dismayed when I don't disrupt? And is staying where I am now really such a bad thing? I think I'm the luckiest NSF around!

I was just rethinking being a doctor again. It's so agonizing to see an injured animal, or an injured human and not know you can help. Cats love me, but sometimes when I see them with ticks, or infected wounds, I don't know what to do. And that irks me.

But do I really want to do a job where I'll have to see such pictures of sadness every day of my work? Will I really get "used to it?" Shouldn't I just do photography and be immersed in the creative side of things? The happy side of things?

I guess this sounds like Joanna a little while back.

To me, it's not some idealistic notion. To me, it's the next 10 years of my life. It's about what I want to be remembered for, what I want to jump out of bed everyday, being excited doing. I know I'll feel happy if I can save lives, or make beautiful pictures. I love the feeling of having a team around me, doing great, amazing work with my two hands. Changing lives.

I don't want to close it just yet. Don't want to say that saving lives is so much more noble than saving souls. A picture can change history as much as a life can. A picture reawakens the human mind, wakens the sleeping soul. A doctor just reawakens the body, and has it go its way.

What do I want to do? What do I want to do?

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Test!

You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you Paul Begala. You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to.

You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised.

You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.