Yourself?

Caning

I never liked caning because somehow I found it very barbaric and last resortish. Thankfully, my tuition kids were never very naughty. I don't know if it's because of me or because I simply ignore the naughty ones.

Really, violence is the last refuge of the incompetent (Isaac Asimov). But the assumption behind that quote is that the person you are dealing with is reasonable. How do you teach children who may not have a full grasp of action and consequence, and hence may not understand what you're reasoning to him about except through pain?

I just witnessed a caning today, thankfully it wasn't my tuition kid, but it was a pretty serious error, resulting in an injury to an elderly grandmother. So the mum and the kid bargained over how many strokes the error was worth, over lots of tears and threats.

"Well I'll give you three strokes now if you stretch out your hand, or ten if you don't listen."

"Mummmyyy! I don't want..."

"Okay I'll give you two. Stretch out your hand noww!"

"Mummyyy! I don't want..."

"Okay I'll give you one. Daddy will come back and give you another one."

And so on.

Why do all kids have to go through a phase of beatings, cryings and facing the walls. Why are certain errors punished physically if the kid is reasonable? How can we make a child understand his mistake? (which is the reason for punishment.)

Friendship works for me, as a tuition teacher. Friendship is this intangible token i use, to get the kid to do what I want him to do. It's something I can withdraw, something I can make sure he feels. There is nothing more desired than attention, in the mind of a young boy, and nothing more disastrous than a LACK of attention.

In order for this to work, you need to also teach the boy how to gain your attention back. Because he will do lots of things to get you to notice him, and some of them may be even greater mistakes or annoyances. I try to recognize the intent and tell him, what the right behaviour to get my attention should be.

I wonder though, what would humanity be like if there weren't any corrective actions. That if we were just free men, and were not beaten into submission or threatened into conforming. What kind of lives would we lead? A life not built on fear and retribution, on hells and demons. A life built on what is recognized as good, and encouragement to do good, instead of discouragement of bad practices. I don't know how we're going to go about it, because everyone has different impetuses to improve. But if you could find that key and turn it, the world may be a better place.

I don't know.. I think my life is built on others encouragements. As a person, perhaps I do feel more comfortable with that subtle (and not so subtle) manipulation of my behaviour by others in their praise. But discouragement also works for lots of people out there, scoldings, rants, anger taken on objects and people.

posted by Downhere. @ 12:16 am