Yourself?

A Blogging Moment

Okay, since I'm all excited over the Apple announcement tomorrow and travel dreams. There isn't really anything I can do tonight that won't take up a whole lot of time. That's why I've been blogging so much.

Feeling much better after looking through Prof Hwang's Endocrine notes. Also amused myself by marking out where I fell asleep during the lecture.

Talks with people are always very very good! Talked to Ivan and Dingsoon and Joshua again over lunch. Managed to teach a bit more weiqi, learnt that dingsoon got a weiqi headache, and make overseas trip plans. I think they're really my kind of people. Looking forward to getting to know them a little better. Somehow we have the same wavelengths about things, yet we also have differences in terms of culture. Ivan's religious, I'm not. Dingsoon's interested in going on cheap trips to strange places like me! And maybe, in a way, we all don't really fit in into the usual mould.

Part of life, is really about finding people you fit in with. I fit in with people who generally have balanced lives. Happy, independent people. People who are uninhibited in speaking their minds, who aren't concerned about group politics, or status, or what others may think of them.

Over the weekend, I also found people I did not fit in with.. Astee said I make really quick decisions about people, when I told her about my dilemma over the weekend and what I decided to do. And well, I said, if another person doesn't fit me as well as she does, why should I bother starting another new friendship? Why should I dilute my attentions towards the few people that really matter with people who will not work out anyway?

I thought Candice and Raymond as a couple turned out great over Monday and told Candice so. It's really very hard to find someone whom you can do everything with, and who is so nice about it all. It's a very sweet relationship. You can tell that in the future, they'll be a great singer/doctor family. I don't know Raymond really well, so I won't write anything about him, but I think Candice lost certain passions that she may have valued in the past, but gained more focus towards things that will matter to her future, like Medicine, and Raymond. In the end, I think it's a pretty good bargain. It's something like a gift really, something she needs, something safe, simple and pleasant.

I think friendships winnow themselves out over time as you get to know each other better. It's really nothing personal, everyone's just finding people they can work with. In the end, everyone ends up happy. Why get upset over what was, when you can get excited about what will be.

As for me, the next relationship, I really want to push the boundaries. I want something more complex, more risky, more... true to life. I want the feeling of a relationship that no one else will ever have. Conversations with so many levels. A person who will manipulate me as much as I will manipulate her. Shades of grey! Whacky ideas! Just reading Popagandhi and getting so many ideas. Someone who I can travel with, who won't mind lying on a beach in the middle of nowhere, scampering over wet rocks, and climbing into steep caves. Someone who won't mind just breathing in a beautiful Zen garden, with her back on mine. Someone who will be her feminine self, just as I assume my masculine roles. Someone to whom feminity isn't weakness but strength, and masculinity isn't only strength, but foolishness. Under the stars, we will play, like two opposed and complementary forces. The world our oyster. My stupidity, her intelligence. My failings, her strengths. My philosophy, her practicality. Our balance.

posted by Downhere. @ 10:38 pm