Yourself?

Music Music Music!

Well, I'm sorry about not posting regularly, now that I've all the time in NS, but there's just so much so much to do on weekends that blogging is like one of the lowest priorities around. Everyone's gone into NS, so the only people who are free are guys like me, downgraded to C9L3, which means I can't do my bit defending the country, nor take the IPPT (even though I passed), nor wear the army uniform (cos it's too bloody hot). Going to see the Medical Officers(read doctors) also sounds like visiting some really concerned parents. They keep asking if I've downgraded yet. And being so willing to downgrade me, I feel almost ashamed.

Just sent Daph off the other day. Really interesting person. Had this long long conversation with bits and pieces I can use and quote with. Anyway it was one of those really reflective and rare quiet times in my life. Really not getting those very much now. At least I know she's kinda well. But if a bit disconnected (in both senses of the word) from civilization.

Just bought a guitar recently as well. I just feel this bond with it, being able to pick it up and play whatever single notes I desire. It's just the chording that my fingers can't cope with. As well as the fact that I've gotten a steel- strung acoustic that has been chewing up my fingers, so I can only play for a few minutes before my fingers complain. It'll get better with time I'm assured. Played a friend's classical, and it was so unbelievably easy. But nice sounding classicals are pretty expensive. My cheapo acoustic will do for now. Need to bang the music out of it. Kinda like polishing boots (which I don't have to do anymore)

Having a guitar is one of those magical things that happen once in a lifetime, like the first time I heard a concert, and took up the organ so I could play something cool a long time ago in primary school. I used to love the way how playing a low note on the organ would cause the whole chair to rumble and shake. I still love how playing my guitar has all these weird vibrations and overtones with every note. Like there were all these sounds that you've never heard before in your life, lost in recordings, but so evident in your own guitar. I find myself irritated by high pitched overtones even though I've stopped all the strings. It's just so rich. Like my guitar has so many things I've yet to explore, so many facets I'll discover in the weeks to come.

Part of the fun of course, is also singing a note and feeling the string corresponding to that note rumble on the guitar. Resonance!

And somebody finally appreciates my singing! Yay!

I'm thinking of classes. But with classes there's always this feeling that you've got to get a decent instrument first, cos the classes cost so much. Maybe one day I'll go for singing classes anyway since I can't exactly buy a new voice box. Need to expand range! Need to expand range.

What I've really been doing today, is listening to all my favourite songs again. I love Jay Chou. And Fish Leong. It's art, infusing a song with your own feelings. Acting as it is, with nothing but the power of sound. And just floating away in bed, carried by the strength of emotion, feeling the resonance of pain in your own heart. We're all human. We all listen to the same things and feel.

But there are things one cannot feel. There are things that people hide in their hearts, block them up with stone walls. Things that must not escape or be made known, or shared with others. Things that cannot be released because we can never know the full impact when they're released. Pressures, burdens, stresses, all piling up behind that stone wall, until the day the wall cracks, and we panic and do something to alleviate the stresses. We just throw out the baby with the bathwater, let the pressures and burdens and stresses all flow out, obliterate our dreams, our fascinations, our feelings. Let the rivers flood, and the plains go under, and wait for another sun, on another bright day, we'll rise again.

People who take the most stress, build the strongest walls, don't survive to see the morning. Share the stress. Morning comes earlier.

posted by Downhere. @ 10:07 pm