Yourself?

I tried to define love a certain way when talking to Geraldine sometime ago. That love is an emotional attachment to someone or something. Which is seperate from happiness, which is a feeling of euphoria, satisfaction, being totally at ease.

I suppose love, being an attachment, provokes jealousy when a third party creates his own attachment towards the object of your affection. Its like how people want to be loved with all our hearts and souls, and nobody is willing to share that love. To say it more bluntly, love is a thread between two couples that they can use to yank each other around, to manipulate each other, to achieve selfish goals. Thus, when there is a third party yanking your girlfriend around, there's bound to be jealousy. Maybe that thread of love becomes strained. Maybe that thread of love may break.

I love walking. Aimlessly. But it gets irritating when you get yanked around by your friend, who doesn't share the same passion of walking slowly. It becomes some rush to get to some destination, in order to rush to another destination.

I remember, rather vividly, in Genting, when I had a trip bringing old folks to Genting Highlands, and making them enjoy themselves. And there's this gloriously long walk from the dining area back to the hotel, cos its three interlinked buildings away. And on this overhead bridge/tunnel connecting thingy, I decided to match step with this ODAC girl, who noticed. She then took quicker steps, and I matched her pace, and she just egged me on. We flew down the overhead bridges/tunnels, with the cold foggy air outside the glass panelled walls, with our breath forming a slight fog in front of our mouths, and that walk seemed at once relaxing and magical. Its just a walk, a moment of peace in perfect synchrony and understanding. And for that whole duration, it was just us. And an endless future.

I suppose its like life, life being an endless walk, always being between places. Its probably true anyway. In the past, there was nothing, and in the future, they'll be nothing. We're just the flourish between states.

I don't have dreams with strong emotions. They're more like guiding lights. Showing me the way, into things I haven't really thought about.

posted by Downhere. @ 10:55 pm