Yourself?

Anyway, I'll go and say hi to the squashie(er) next time. She taught me some squash at the clinic... and she's REALLY nice! Unattached though, I wonder why.

Reading Sandman by Neil Gaiman... troubled by the fact that I was reading a book about a character who's dreaming. So tonight if I dream about the fictional character, who's dreaming, would it be a dream in a dream? Of Neil Gaiman's dream? Would we be sharing the same dreams?

And then I felt sad, cos it seemed that we call dreams dreams because we were not responsible for them. We keep saying that they're uncontrolled, unconscious parts of us. That's just because we're afraid to take responsibility for our dreams, just as we're afraid to take responsibilities for our thoughts. *pause*. I was thinking about wet dreams, and other dreams with a physical manifestation. If our minds think it, does it make it real? Don't we then have to take responsibility for it? Does it matter if we can control it or not? If we say dreams are uncontrollable, can we then not take responsibility for dreaming? Or perhaps we unconsciously decide to not control our dreams, or we don't know how to control our dreams, just as we sometimes don't know how to control our thoughts. Just a thought.

I like the squash player irrationally. I don't know why. The reason I shy from approaching her is probably because I don't exactly know where the source of the attraction comes from. Am I just lusting because she's pretty and nice? Or do I wanna noe her as a person because she's interesting? And if I don't know her at all, how can I better know her as a person? Won't I just be motivated by lust? And why would she need another lustful person in her life? Isn't that all just too selfish?

posted by Downhere. @ 6:39 pm